Book: Cut, Stapled & Mended

I thank my Doula, Irina for lending me this book which I finished reading in just 2 days! As I have experienced a cesarean with the birth of my son 6 years ago, I feel exactly as author Roanna Rosewood put it - I am reclaiming my body and choosing to birth at my own terms this time around.

With every page that I devoured, I resonated with Roanna's journey into motherhood, pregnancy and birth. I laughed and cried (lots!) because of the truthfulness of her emotions and vulnerabilities.

I highly recommend this book to anyone embarking on a vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean) because it narrates the struggles Roanna went through with both of her sons being born via c-sections- despite all her preparations for a natural birth. Finally, on her third child, (she found out she was pregnant again only a year after her second birth) she was successful with the birth that she has always wanted for her and her family.

This book is available at Amazon.

The Business of Being Born

Here is the documentary that shifted my perspective on the modern birthing process. We live in an age where birthing in hospitals is considered the norm and any alternative plan would be deemed unsafe by most of society. I am speaking from a Filipina's experience living in Manila. When I voice out that I am considering a homebirth, majority of my family and friends think that I have lost my mind. While I value the expertise of doctors for emergency situations, treating the very sick- It is not necessary for normal, healthy women to birth in hospitals.

Watch and let me know what you think!

Beyond the Wound

For many months I have been silent in the other blog because I am slowly transitioning to yet another milestone in my life. In due time, we expect another addition to our family! I have been keeping this blessing under the radar because I wanted to protect the soul of the baby (a Kabbalistic belief and an old Filipino practice too, I was told).

It does not feel right to speak about these personal, controversial and radical matters in the other blog anymore so here is the birth of one blog specially created for an advocacy I currently feel so strongly about - Birthing.

To launch, I am posting a powerful masterpiece entitled "CESAREAN, beyond the Wound" by an exceptionally talented Argentinian artist I found online thanks to Jhoanna Parvati. 

"The series is comprised by more than thirty photographs of women that had cesarean sections and some brief and precise commentaries from the protagonists. The images show the physical and emotional scar. They invite the viewer to contemplate the wound and to go beyond, to reach some sort of understanding and commitment for a respectful birth care."

 -Ana Álvarez-Errecalde



The images and message resonate with me because 6 years ago, I underwent the knife (against my wishes) for the birth of my son, Santi. 

Of course I had a detailed birth plan, went to Lamaze class with my husband and was determined to do a natural vaginal birth. You know what they say, things never go as planned. On the month of my due date, my water broke and we rushed to the hospital because we were told to do so, for fear of a dry and painful labor? I don't recall the reason. 

As new vulnerable parents, we succumbed to all hospital protocols without a fight. My husband was not allowed in the room with me because we didn't get a Lamaze room (back then we were on a budget and reserved a spartan room ---no special treatment for those who cannot afford to pay for one) so I labored alone for 17 hours strapped down to a bed with an IV and fetal monitor attached to my body. I did not know then that by the positioning of my body, I would not open so I stayed only 4cm dilated until the very end. There was a stranger in there at one point, an intern who I was annoyed at because he was glued to his phone sending text messages while I was in pain. The least you can do is be compassionate, I thought/screamed to myself, but I suffered in silence instead. 

Now that I am pregnant with my second child and prepare myself for another (more humane) birth, I learn that all those horrific circumstances I experienced at the hospital prevented me from having a natural birth my body was designed for. Unnecessary interventions result to unnecessary c-sections. I cannot help but to think and feel that my husband, Santi and I was robbed of this natural body experience, a somewhat rite of passage for our family.

This is what I am faced with, a return to center as I heal from old wounds from the past. In Kabbalah, they believe that circumstances will repeat in order for you to learn the lesson. I am blessed to come face my demons once again- in birthing myself anew. This time, I will fight for what is rightfully ours. May this journey into my becoming inspire other mothers and women wanting to be mothers in choosing a more gentle path for their babies. As Ibu Robin says, "Peace Begins at Birth".