Assisting In A Miracle

photo via Pinterest

Prenatal Massage: Llumiere Home Spa

I have just had 60 minutes of bliss at home- a relaxing aromatherapy prenatal massage using my own massage oil concoction: Peace & Calming Young Living pure essential oil in VCO base (Virgin Coconut Oil.)

To be brutally honest, I really don't want to publish details of my "secret" home spa because if too many people find out how fabulous they are, they might be too busy for me the next time I call them. BUT I am going against my ego and selfish desires by sharing with you one of my treasures - Llumiere Home Spa.

Pre-pregnancy, I've been a frequent customer trying out their different massage and nail services.They are affordable, therapists come on time, use natural ingredients and are well trained (ugh, the worst is having to endure a masseuse who doesn't know what she is doing!). Since I've been feeling achey these days because of weight gain, I've been indulging in weekly prenatal massages which I am so happy they offer as well.

Are you pregnant and haven't tried a mommy massage? Well, you should! Here's why...

Benefits of Prenatal Massages 

1. Promotes relaxation, reduces stress (higher dopamine & serotonin levels)
2. Reduces anxieties, depression (lowers cortisol & norepinephrine)
3. Better sleep, strengthened immune system

"And the benefits don’t stop there. Studies show that women who have received regular prenatal massage have greater chances of reduced pain perception during labor and delivery. They tend to have shorter labors. Their babies tend to be healthier, as measured by higher Apgar and Brazelton Neonatal Behavioral Assessment scores. There is less likelihood of premature birth.

And, we are still not through. After delivery, it has been shown that these mothers have an enhanced ability to touch their own babies lovingly. There is evidence that when a woman is depressed during pregnancy, massage can help reduce depression by the time her baby is born, and that she is more likely to have reduced depression and cortisol levels postpartum."

Source: Pulling Down The Moon

Llumiere Home Spa
60 minutes massage Php350
Call or text +639328777038
Selected areas in Metro Manila

Young Living oils reseller in Manila
Pamela Sitaldas +639178126699

Are you a reader from Manila and want to share your personally approved prenatal spa contacts? Please leave contacts at the comments so I can try them out as well. Thank you!

Book: Cut, Stapled & Mended

I thank my Doula, Irina for lending me this book which I finished reading in just 2 days! As I have experienced a cesarean with the birth of my son 6 years ago, I feel exactly as author Roanna Rosewood put it - I am reclaiming my body and choosing to birth at my own terms this time around.

With every page that I devoured, I resonated with Roanna's journey into motherhood, pregnancy and birth. I laughed and cried (lots!) because of the truthfulness of her emotions and vulnerabilities.

I highly recommend this book to anyone embarking on a vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean) because it narrates the struggles Roanna went through with both of her sons being born via c-sections- despite all her preparations for a natural birth. Finally, on her third child, (she found out she was pregnant again only a year after her second birth) she was successful with the birth that she has always wanted for her and her family.

This book is available at Amazon.

Tea for Pregnancy

Did you know that there is a particular herbal tea that is specially meant for pregnancy? I recently found out that Raspberry Leaf tea has many health benefits for pregnant mamas like me! I found one organic brand- Traditional Medicinals from Healthy Options in Eastwood, Quezon City.

The website states that this tea is known for its nurturing properties---

"Supports healthy menstruation, tones the uterus and may be used for menstrual cramps...European and Native American women have used raspberry leaf for thousands of years for menstrual support, menstrual cramps and during pregnancy as a healthy tonic to help prepare the womb for childbirth"

There has also been a study made with the conclusion that consuming raspberry tea leaf products shortens labor and has good birth outcomes. Pregnant? I suggest we all stock up on these now :)

Update on Issa's Lotus Birth

Sharing with you all an update from Issa's family the day after her lotus birth :)

Inner Birthing of Issa: Full Lotus and Water Birth, Skin to Skin, Breastfeeding and High on Raw Plant Base Food, Innerdance.

Thank you everyone for the good thoughts and warm messages and for resonating with what we chose to do in this pregnancy, birthing and parenting process. It is indeed heartwarming to know that we are supported by you. We are still in our nesting period, hoping to extend until the 40th day after birth so we can all fully recover, with not so much physical and mental work involve but merely enjoying the time with our growing family. 

Here is Issa at 33hrs after birth.

In Full Lotus Birth we don't cut the cord and we wait until it totally falls off without clamping or burning. You wait until it naturally detach itself from the baby.

Placenta is believed to be the twin sister, angel of the baby. It has life. (please get a copy of the book, Placenta The Forgotten Chakra by Robin Lim)

It is destined to give up its life to support baby Issa all through out her living years. An Angel whom she will recognize and will be with her always.

I decided to remove Issa's clothes so we can have more skin to skin time with each other and the umbilical cord needs natural air to dry. Covering her with fully with clothes doesn't help so much. Skin to skin time gives more opportunity for the mom and the child to really bond and feel the warmth of each other's body. There were many experiences shared already that it prevented and healed many birth illnesses or defects of the child including those which are caused by premature birthing.

We are preserving the placenta with salt and food grade lavender essential oil, this gives us an option to either burry and have ceremony or dry and encapsulate it as future medicine supplement of the child and the mom. (A lot of pharmaceutical companies previously and without permission from the parents, they buy and collect all the placenta from the hospitals. Where does the placenta soap comes from anyway?)

For her navel I put Frankincense and Mhyrr. All oils give healing qualities and are spiritual oils too.

It takes a lot of energy and presence to be 24/7 be there for the child so the cord won't be accidentally removed. We haven't gotten enough sleep but this whole process only happens once in her life so it worth all the effort.

The oils were given by friend from Malaysia after continuously dreaming of the birthing of Jesus with the three wise men with their gifts. She got an email mentioning Issa, which is actually an Armaic name of Jesus and a name in Malay that connotes the same and so it gave her an idea to send the three gifts of the three wise men. Thank you Shahira.

Symbolic, beautiful and in essence as we always want it to be.

(Wow, posting this at exactly 11:11, that is an add on.)

Also, please feel free to share the videos and our posts if you feel your friends will resonate with it too, no need to ask permission please. I think when its already in fb and you tube even us doesn't have full ownership of it. As you share, please send prayers to all mommies and babies that they all have safe birthing process too. Blessings!

Daniw Pi Sinag and Issa

Issa Means One: A Water Lotus Birth

This morning at 1:11 am, my good friend and soul sister Daniw, Inner Mommy of Bahay Kalipay, birthed her daughter named Issa (which means One in Tagalog and some sources say it is Arabic for Jesus). Daniw and I have been communicating on how to do a lotus birth (Keeping the placenta attached to the newborn until it severs naturally). She was not able to do so with her last child, Sinag although they did an unassisted water birth as well a few years back. We have both been blessed to meet Ibu Robin Lim who has shared with us her knowledge of birthing the placenta, too, the forgotten chakra.

She shares her natural water and lotus birth here filmed by her life partner, Pi. Watch how gentle birth can be surrounded by those you love at home.



Wouldn't the world be a better place if we were all welcomed in this loving manner?

African Birth Song

"There is a tribe in Africa where the birth date of a child is counted not from when they've been born, nor from when they are conceived but from the day that the child was a thought in its mother's mind.

And when a woman decides that she will have a child, she goes off and sits under a tree, by herself, and she listens until she can hear the song of the child that wants to come. And after she's heard the song of this child, she comes back to the man who will be the child's father, and teaches it to him. And then, when they make love to physically conceive the child, some of that time they sing the song of the child, as a way to invite it.

And then, when the mother is pregnant, the mother teaches that child's song to the midwives and the old women of the village, so that when the child is born, the old women and the people around her sing the child's song to welcome it. And then, as the child grows up, the other villagers are taught the child's song. If the child falls, or hurts its knee, someone picks it up and sings its song to it. Or perhaps the child does something wonderful, or goes through the rites of puberty, then as a way of honoring this person, the people of the village sing his or her song.

And it goes this way through their life. In marriage, the songs are sung, together. And finally, when this child is lying in bed, ready to die, all the villagers know his or her song, and they sing--for the last time--the song to that person."

Source

Watch this video --

Scrutinizing Stretchmark Products

Stretchmarks. Ugh. Here's a major vanity concern women have when it comes to skincare in pregnancy. They say that it all depends on your genetic make up. Some lucky few have none after birth because DNA from their parents prevented them from having any, but most (unlucky ones) like me are succumbed to the unforgiving battle scars of motherhood from s-t-r-e-t-c-h-ing of skin in the tummy and thigh areas especially during the last trimester. A sight only true love can accept :P

Many years ago, I only knew of Palmer's Cocoa Butter which I would occasionally put on (Thank god, I wasn't more religious on lathering this stuff!). Sadly, this widely used product by many preggies contain parabens---dangerous preservatives which skincare manufacturers use to prevent growth of bacteria in products but refrain from siting its effects to the public. Parabens mimic estrogen in the body and when accumulated can have serious health hazards. A British oncologist linked parabens with breast cancer in a study here. Before gifting a new mom this product, please think twice!

A few months ago, a well-meaning friend gave me her Bio-oil to try because it is known to prevent and cure (?) stretchmarks. It is heavily marketed as a new scar treatment and is quite famous because of its advertisements. If you check the official website, it boasts numerous awards won for being the #1 scar and stretchmark product in 17 countries. Curious, I gave it a try but the slippery and thin consistency reminded me of a local baby oil which is made from mineral oil and true enough, when I researched and read the full ingredients list - I was RIGHTLY disappointed to find out the base IS in fact, mineral oil. 

Mineral oil is a petroleum by-product. It has the ability to block the pores on your skin, therefore block your skin's natural respiration process as well. Once inside the body, mineral oil can steal away natural fat solubles and minerals too. Again, another no-no :( Just like parabens, mineral oil is also accumulative and worst, has been linked to skin cancer! Read Dr. Mercola's comments here.

Funny that the website lists its botanical ingredients and deceivingly hides 'mineral oil' which makes the product seem safe and natural. Read more scrutiny here- Chemistry Blog: Beauty & The Risk. So, this is definitely OFF your list, right?

Now, I've been hearing the benefits of Rose Hip Oil on skin. Top model Miranda Kerr swears by it. She claims to have used it throughout her pregnancy and doesn't have a single stretch mark despite birthing to a 10-pound baby! Then again, she might have been one of those blessed with anti-stretchmark DNA :P

photo by Australian Beauty on a Budget

I purchased a bottle of cold-pressed (a.k.a. naturally processed) Rose Hip Vital for a steal at $10 during a recent trip to the US. I sometimes use it as a facial serum but have been lathering mainly on my belly. I still have battlescars/stretchmarks from my previous pregnancy so I'm not quite sure if this experiment will prevent further stretching but, it feels great to be nourishing myself nightly with a 100% natural product that is rich in essential fatty acids, high in antioxidants, vitamins and minerals. Huffington Post says that Rose Hip Oil, a miracle skin care product is the next coconut oil. Let's see about that!

Book Launch: Project Mom

I am very excited to attend the book launch of Project Mom written by Amanda Griffin-Jacob with good friend, Bianca Araneta-Elizalde. It is a book for expecting new moms and moms in general about natural motherhood, the lifestyle that they breathe and promote relentlessly.

Amanda says that it is the first book of its kind here in the Philippines and even abroad as they have a comprehensive local directory that lets you know where to get everything you need for your life as a mom. The book covers pregnancy, bringing your baby home, breastfeeding, health, traveling with your baby (domestic and international), memories and celebrations, and a chapter dedicated solely to MOMS (how to lose the baby weight, the importance of me-time, their favorite products, and bonding with your friends and husbands.

50% of book sales on this night will go to Typhoon Yolanda victims. There will also be an amazing raffle with P150,000 worth of phenomenal prizes and 100% of the raffle proceeds are going to help Typhoon Yolanda moms and babies. There will also be a few vendors selling some wonderful organic products. (yipee!)

I will be there with my co-yummy mummies from FLOW. See you all there!

Acupuncture for Pregnancy

Even before finding out I was pregnant, I already had an inkling because of all the clues: my period was already late, I had swelling of breasts, an increase in my sense of smell and NAUSEA. Oh boy, this is something that I definitely do not miss! I was surely positive in my pregnancy test a few days after and had another bout of morning sickness just like I did with my previous pregnancy over 6 years ago.

A co-parent in the Waldorf school mentioned to me that she went to a convent in Panay Ave., Quezon City for acupuncture sessions under Sister Regina Liu to combat morning sickness during her pregnancy. I've heard of this person from other friends because she is known as the fertility acupuncturist, making it possible for couples to have children despite reproductive issues. Read an article here on how acupuncture and moxibustion supports natural fertility.

I am a Yin Yoga teacher, so I also studied the benefits of applying TCM (traditional Chinese Medicine) techniques and the health benefits; removing any blockages in chi and re-balancing the energies in the body. I've tried acupuncture before with Dr. Kit Navarro from St. Luke's (who also happens to be a Yin Yoga teacher now at Beyond Yoga and Yoga for Life) but I was curious and wanted to meet the famous Sister Regina who seems to be a pro in reproductive health.  I booked myself a session and have been going regularly for the health of me and my baby in utero.

Yep, that's me with 8 needles on my head! Painless!

My experience so far has been good that I even convince my friends to come and join me. Sister Regina or one of the trained acupuncturists assesses me each time I come, asks me questions about diet, sleep, looks at my tongue and then starts to insert the needles and adds moxibustion (which the nurse assistant lights up) before leaving the room. The session lasts about 30 minutes at a time. I ALWAYS feel the effects right when the nurse comes back in to remove the needles. It's almost as if I am ready to doze off to sleep and then it ends, hehehe!

Benefits of Acupuncture in the different trimesters of Pregnancy

First trimester - less frequent and shorter periods of nausea, relieves fatigue, migraines and bleeding

Second trimester - alleviate heartburn, hemorrhoids, stress, treat edema, elevated blood sugar, etc.

Third trimester - relief from sciatica, backache, pubic and joint pain, carpal tunnel syndrome
"By 32 to 34 weeks, the acupuncturist should begin to encourage a head-down position,".... "In the last four to six weeks, the mother will receive treatments to normalize and optimize labor."

http://doctorberlin.com/pregnancy/prenatal-services/prenatal-acupuncture.html. 

To book an acupuncture session, you may call 02-3735503. If you do, let me know how it goes for you!

Wisdom from Ina May Gaskin

Baby Delphina's Home (Water) Birth Story

So often we are bombarded by birth stories filled with terror and pain. To break the fears instilled in us (some since childhood!) about this normal life process, I offer this space for mothers who want to share their real birthing experiences that were gentle, loving and empowering- no matter what the outcome was. For those expecting, it is wise to expose yourself to positive stories, too!

Irina, Delphina's mother, is the group admin of the Homebirthing in the Philippines Facebook group (leave me a message if you want to join!) and is currently training with Childbirth International as a birth Doula. With her permission, I share with you her birth story :)

Even before getting pregnant I knew I wanted the birth of my child to be highly conscious and on my terms. Back then I did not know much about the rising rates of Cesarian sections, and terms like epidural, pitocin injection, feotal monitoring, IV were still beyond the spectrum of my vocabulary. Soon after my pregnancy became an established fact of life I started researching my options and educating myself in general on childbirth.

I should say that my pregnancy was inspired by the idea of birthing in a company of dolphins. These intelligent and gentle mammals seem to have a natural affinity with pregnant women and babies. Women who gave birth assisted by dolphins report diminished levels of pain and anxiety. The birth occurs with ease and harmony. Knowing that such a different birth was possible compared to a usual picture of a woman in pain surrounded by bright lights and doctors in white gowns, I first conceived the desire to give birth and soon after actually conceived a child. It should not come as a surprise that conception happened after a wonderful occasion of swimming and interacting with the dolphins.

Later on in my pregnancy I had to tame my dream of physically birthing with dolphins as at this point in time there is no such a facility in the entire world that offers such a service. And birthing in a place where we interacted with dolphins during my pregnancy on a monthly basis seemed to be logistically challenging and plain risky. So, I had to consider other, less exotic options.

Gearing towards birthing outside of the hospital setting I came to read “Ina May’s guide to child birth” by Ina May Gaskin, “Orgasmic Birth Guide” by Elizabeth Davies and Debra Pascali-Bonaro and watch the films “Birth as We Know It” and ” and “Organic Birth“. This exposure opened my eyes on the world of birth and put me in the position to start seriously asking questions as to what kind of birth experience I envision for myself, my child and my partner. The clear answer for me was – an organic, harmonious, empowering birth for all participants. In a word I decided on a home birth attended by a midwife. A choice that provoked some jaw dropping in my surroundings. Home birth in Manila! A city congested with traffic jams! What if anything goes wrong, how sure are you to make it on time to the hospital? …Not sure indeed, it is a choice with some considerable risks, but it felt like the right choice.

Home birthing is usually for those who cannot afford to go to the hospital in the Philippines, often not attended by skillful personnel, hence a high rate of maternal and infant mortality. It is a prerogative in the Filipino society that woman of certain financial standard would go to a hospital, therefore giving birth at home out of choice and preference for comfort and intimacy is almost unheard of.

Being new to the land of pregnancy, birth and motherhood, I felt like I needed more guidance from the experienced people, who would preferably be on the same page with me regarding the preference for natural unmedicated birth. And this is where the information about the series of workshops “Birthing is a Blessing” came across my path. Just upon reading the flyer I knew this seminar is meant for me and will play in essential role in ensuring that the birth of my first baby would happen exactly the way I was envisioning it.

The workshops are conducted by the qualified birth educators – a husband and wife, parents of five children all born naturally. They offer a great curriculum that focuses on unraveling through creative means the inner most feelings, thoughts, reservations and hopes about the act of birthing and the processes surrounding birth. Of course it makes the most sense to participate in these seminars as a couple, although even for expecting moms alone taking part in the course will be a great confidence booster. My partner and me participated in the seminars as a couple, which allowed us to arrive to the actual delivery day as a strong birthing team equipped with knowledge, tools and most importantly with inner confidence that we can handle it.

One of the most magic moments in the days and weeks leading up to the birthing day was the baby shower/birthing blessing event. We decided that it would not be a regular baby shower format with so much focus on the baby and mother in their post-delivery state. Along with the jokes about diapers and baby bottles, we actually wanted an intentional focus on the birthing process itself by invocating a collective blessing for this unique rite of passage in the life of a woman as well as in the life of a couple. Yet again thanks to our coaches passionate facilitation we were blessed with the most wonderful birthing blessing ritual that touched the hearts of all friends present and sealed our hearts even stronger in the commitment towards natural, organic and harmonious home birth.

The actual birth did not happen up until almost the whole month after the birthing ritual. As it often happens in the first pregnancies I was going past my official “due date”. When I was seriously way into my forty first week I started getting quite serious remarks from my ob-gyne about the dangers of over-carrying the child. My midwife, instead, was relaxed all the time and encouraged me to carry on and wait for the labour to start naturally. I was given a deadline by my ob-gyne that if the birth did not happen by Saturday, I should be checking in the hospital by Sunday morning. I clearly understood what this implied – I would check in the hospital to be induced…and then who knows what would follow, I might end up experiencing the entire cascade of interventions with a C-section as the biggest reward for being a good patient. So, I ignored my Sunday deadline. Instead I showed up on Monday for a checkup to an utter dismay of my ob-gyne and demanded a referral to all the necessary tests to prove most importantly to myself that my body and my baby inside were doing just fine in the expectation of the nature’s call to kick off the birthing.

The tests indeed showed that by all parameters the baby was still thriving in the womb and my body was managing excellently. The only worrying sign in the eyes of my ob-gyne was the fact that the baby’s estimate weight was already reaching 4 kilos (9 pounds), meaning it was getting too big by the Filipino standards to pass through the birth canal, for which I was given a new deadline – Wednesday.

The evening of the same day a good friend came along declaring that he knew what was stalling the start of the labour – I had to release my own birthing trauma! According to him even though I was not aware of any in this life time, I might be lingering on the energy of some birth trauma from any of my past lives. He also pointed that the bedroom space was energetically congested and needed quite some cleansing. While he was doing the latter, I honestly dedicated an hour of my life to clearing of the birthing trauma using the theta brain waves method. Whatever the trigger might have been – another acupuncture session, energy clearing in our bedroom, processing of some hidden birth traumas or a simple stress in the face of the new deadline, the next morning upon waking up to a strong contraction I went straight into labour!!!

My midwife and her companions arrived around 11 am fully equipped with an oxygen tank, water warmers, birthing stool and so many other things that were there on standby during the entire happening. The labour lasted full twelve hours. Most of the active stage I spent in the bedroom in different positions managing my contractions with either my mom or my partner by my side, massaging my back or simply holding my hand. Near the pushing stage we moved to the pool positioned in the center of our living room, where my partner and me spent other two hours trying to push the baby out. It was a nice feeling to get in the water and have this soothing touch all over my body. However, after what seemed to be an endless amount of pushing contractions in the water and the rupture of membranes, the baby was still not out. I recall at some point my mom realizing that things were actually not going easy grabbed an icon of the Russian saints and stood in front of the pull with us in it passionately reciting a prayer. Thank you, mom, your prayers were answered sooner or later!

I remember some sort of cut off feeling regarding our stay in the pool – enough, it was getting to be exhausting to stay in the water and I requested my midwife to transfer back in the bedroom. There she asked me if I prepared the plastic sheets to which I only shrugged my shoulders. Next thing I remember she commanded to cover the floor with piles of newspapers. Soon she identified the problem, the baby flipped back to the posterior position after being anterior for the greater part of the active labour, and this made it more difficult to progress. In the meantime I was losing energy to keep pushing and was playing in my mind other not so desirable scenarios. Fortunately, all through the labour I was spoon fed pieces of fruit, honey, soaked chia seeds and had lots of water to drink. At the final stage I was pushing squatting on the floor, supported by my partner, who in his turn was supported by our household helper with midwives assuming their positions somewhere between my legs one with her hands in my vagina facilitating the exit, another monitoring baby’s heartbeat every minute and the third taking notes, while my mom was standing by in a state somewhere between fainting and praying.

It was an indescribable relief to feel baby’s head getting born, the rest of her body followed immediately. My baby girl was in my arms with her eyes open greeting the world. Never mind the pool of blood on the newspapers, never mind the twelve hours of labour, never mind the tears in my vagina – she was with us now, a new human being in this world for whom I am entirely responsible now. To name that feeling abliss is to say nothing. To have your newborn child in your arms is an exhilarating feeling for every new mother, but having a child in your arms followed a blissful birth feels double like heaven.

Thank you for sharing a piece of you and Delphina, Irina!

The Business of Being Born

Here is the documentary that shifted my perspective on the modern birthing process. We live in an age where birthing in hospitals is considered the norm and any alternative plan would be deemed unsafe by most of society. I am speaking from a Filipina's experience living in Manila. When I voice out that I am considering a homebirth, majority of my family and friends think that I have lost my mind. While I value the expertise of doctors for emergency situations, treating the very sick- It is not necessary for normal, healthy women to birth in hospitals.

Watch and let me know what you think!

Beyond the Wound

For many months I have been silent in the other blog because I am slowly transitioning to yet another milestone in my life. In due time, we expect another addition to our family! I have been keeping this blessing under the radar because I wanted to protect the soul of the baby (a Kabbalistic belief and an old Filipino practice too, I was told).

It does not feel right to speak about these personal, controversial and radical matters in the other blog anymore so here is the birth of one blog specially created for an advocacy I currently feel so strongly about - Birthing.

To launch, I am posting a powerful masterpiece entitled "CESAREAN, beyond the Wound" by an exceptionally talented Argentinian artist I found online thanks to Jhoanna Parvati. 

"The series is comprised by more than thirty photographs of women that had cesarean sections and some brief and precise commentaries from the protagonists. The images show the physical and emotional scar. They invite the viewer to contemplate the wound and to go beyond, to reach some sort of understanding and commitment for a respectful birth care."

 -Ana Álvarez-Errecalde



The images and message resonate with me because 6 years ago, I underwent the knife (against my wishes) for the birth of my son, Santi. 

Of course I had a detailed birth plan, went to Lamaze class with my husband and was determined to do a natural vaginal birth. You know what they say, things never go as planned. On the month of my due date, my water broke and we rushed to the hospital because we were told to do so, for fear of a dry and painful labor? I don't recall the reason. 

As new vulnerable parents, we succumbed to all hospital protocols without a fight. My husband was not allowed in the room with me because we didn't get a Lamaze room (back then we were on a budget and reserved a spartan room ---no special treatment for those who cannot afford to pay for one) so I labored alone for 17 hours strapped down to a bed with an IV and fetal monitor attached to my body. I did not know then that by the positioning of my body, I would not open so I stayed only 4cm dilated until the very end. There was a stranger in there at one point, an intern who I was annoyed at because he was glued to his phone sending text messages while I was in pain. The least you can do is be compassionate, I thought/screamed to myself, but I suffered in silence instead. 

Now that I am pregnant with my second child and prepare myself for another (more humane) birth, I learn that all those horrific circumstances I experienced at the hospital prevented me from having a natural birth my body was designed for. Unnecessary interventions result to unnecessary c-sections. I cannot help but to think and feel that my husband, Santi and I was robbed of this natural body experience, a somewhat rite of passage for our family.

This is what I am faced with, a return to center as I heal from old wounds from the past. In Kabbalah, they believe that circumstances will repeat in order for you to learn the lesson. I am blessed to come face my demons once again- in birthing myself anew. This time, I will fight for what is rightfully ours. May this journey into my becoming inspire other mothers and women wanting to be mothers in choosing a more gentle path for their babies. As Ibu Robin says, "Peace Begins at Birth".